Black Friday, the rush down the aisles at the mall might mean bargains for some, but for physicians thoughts of injuries also come to mind.  We took this image and ran a caption contest inside the Sermo community.  The doctors voted for their favorite caption.

Enjoy any shopping you might do today and maybe even some leftover turkey!

The post Black Friday Humor appeared first on Sermo.

We occasionally have cartoon contests with the Sermo community and we wanted to share with you the latest results.  We hope you enjoy the medical humor.  Runner up captions are below:

Caption #2:  Too late!  He went viral!

Caption #3:  Don’t let it see your iPhone, it thrives in a social medium!

Caption #4: Is that the 1918 flu around the corner? // I don’t know, he only speaks Spanish.

Caption #5: Did you know it once lived on a toilet seat for 72 hours?  True story.

The post Cartoon: The Flu in School appeared first on Sermo.

Click to Enlarge

We take a lot of things seriously here at Sermo.  Medicine is about saving lives and improving patient outcomes and our doctors are focused on that all day, every day.  But, every once in a while they like to have a little fun and Halloween is a great excuse to ask our doctors a silly question and enjoy some medical humor.

If you could have one organ in a jar on your desk, what would it be?  The results:

• 41% brains
• 27% heart
• 22% eyeballs
• 5% kidneys
• 3% tongue
• 3% liver

We did check by specialty and had a chuckle at the results.

Doctors who specialize in Neurology:

• 85% brains
• 12% eyeballs
• 3% heart
• 1% tongue

Doctors who specialize in Cardiology:

• 73% heart
• 11% brains
• 10% eyeballs
• 3% kidney
• 2% liver

Doctors who specialize in Ophthalmology:

• 75% eyeballs
• 16% brains
• 8% heart
• 1% tongue

Doctors who specialize in Emergency Medicine:

• 46% brains
• 26% heart
• 23% brains
• 2% tongue
• 2% liver
• 2% kidney

Doctors who specialize in Pediatrics:

• 45% brains
• 25% heart
• 21% eyeballs
• 3% tongue
• 3% kidneys
• 2% liver

Not only does this show our doctors sense of humor, but it shows their loyalty to their specialties as well.  In fact, when we polled them recently, we found that physicians would choose their specialty all over again.

If you’re an M.D. or D.O. we welcome you to join the Sermo community.  Join us.

The post Happy Halloween from Sermo appeared first on Sermo.

The results are below:

• Dr. Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce 29%
• Dr. Gregory House 19%
• Dr. Leonard H. “Bones” McCoy 15%
• Dr. John H. Watson (Sherlock) 13%
• Dr. Percival “Perry” Ulysses Cox (Scrubs) 9%
• Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman 4%
• Dr. Beverly Crusher (Star Trek, Next Gen) 4%
• Dr. Henry Jekyll 3%
• Dr. Kerry Weaver (ER) 1%

Both Pierce and House are flawed characters who showed their struggles with real issues as they cared for patients.  Pierce, famously dealt with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) as the series final story line and House wrestled with drug addiction through part of the show.  Both men always showed a deep commitment to their patients and a commitment to giving the best care to patients.  And yes, even McCoy in his way, did the same.

For more information about PTSD and veterans, our post about what medical symptoms doctors look for in patients with PTSD is insightful.

As a physician, what do you consider compelling attributes for fictional doctors?  Do you think showing flaws is a good thing?  While we do have some lighter topics inside Sermo, about 60 percent of the discussion is about clinical and practice management topics.  If you’re an M.D. or D.O. please join us.

Photo credits:  IMDB.com

The post Poll: Who is your favorite fictional doctor? appeared first on Sermo.

Ah yes.  The Front Desk.

A smile in the voice, a welcoming, “Doctor Curmudgeon’s Office.  This is Scheherazade.  How may I help you?”

Stop! Listen!

It can be a War Zone.

It can be a Funny Zone.

It can be an Idiocy Zone.

But, whatever it is, at that moment, it is a Zone where calmness, patience and professionalism must prevail.

I have culled and combined some choice things that my assistant has heard and may well hear in the future. There are no names presented here and they are not exact quotes, but are mused upon from the sometimes imperfect memory of a practicing curmudgeon.

AND NOW FOR SOME OF WHAT IS HEARD AT THE FRONT DESK, EITHER ON THE TELEPHONE OR IN PERSON (UNFORTUNATELY, IN MONTY PYTHON TERMS, IT IS NOT “TIME FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT,” BECAUSE THESE ARE NOT UNIQUE)

My dog ate my prescription.

My Vicodin fell in the toilet

My pills fell on the floor and the cat peed all over them.

I met a nice guy in a bar, so I took him home and he had no right to look in my medicine cabinet, but he did, and then I realized he stole all my pills.

My jeans were tight and I reached into my pocket to pull out my pill bottle and all the pills rolled out and I was in line at Kmart and everybody stepped all over them.

When I got out of the car, my purse was open and the car started to roll and crushed all my pills.

I have to talk to the doctor immediately, this second.  I finished my last blood pressure pill yesterday and she has to call it in right now because I am waiting at the pharmacy and I have no time to sit around because I’m supposed to go to lunch with my best friend, and we want to make a movie…so you have to get her right away…I am waiting.  And I need my medicine.  So tell her to hurry up.

And, of course, there is the patient who calls every half hour to review his/her lab work.  And each time this person calls, she/he is told that the doctor is returning calls after five and the message is on the doctor’s desk. Yet this patient keeps calling all day…all day….all day….

Welcome to the World of the Front Desk where it is always High Noon.

~~

Read Doctor Curmudgeon as she talks about “Yes Virginia, there is still joy in medicine.”

Bio:

Doctor Curmudgeon is Diane Batshaw Eisman MD, FAAFP, a Family Physician, writer, voiceover artist, and medical educator. It was in the Neolithic Era that the doctor became renowned for expertise in Trephination. After so much time in practice, Doctor Curmudgeon is now cranky and has rightfully earned the honorific of “Curmudgeon.”

Doctor Curmudgeon has no idea of what will appear in this space. It depends on the Good Doctor’s mood and whatever shamans and doctors are channeled at the moment.

As a curmudgeon, I may stray from what I observe happening in medicine and slink into other areas. But that is the prerogative of a Curmudgeon.  Please check out my first book, “No Such Agency.”

The post Doctor Curmudgeon: It’s High Noon at the Front Desk appeared first on Sermo.

Among the exceptions to Doctor Curmudgeon’s P hate list are Physician and Parfaits (preferably chocolate)

Just look at these:

P- Pimple

P-Provocateur

P-Parsimonious (when it’s stingy, not frugal)

P-Plagiarize

P- PROVIDER

And, please refrain from peppering your pithy comments with all the good P words out there, let’s just focus on Provider.

I AM NOT A PROVIDER.

I did not receive a degree in providing. A provider is someone who makes things available, or makes arrangements or supports…or stuff like that.

I am proud to have earned an M.D.  Doctor of Medicine.

Others are equally proud to have earned a D.O.  Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine.

And so we are Doctors. We are Physicians. We are M.Ds and D.Os.  We are not Providers.

We know that calling us providers is a way of lumping us with others … making us all the same.  Just a bunch of providers.

I have my own little private insurgency going.

When I am on the phone calling in a prescription and, if asked for the “provider’s name,” I say, loudly and clearly,  “I am NOT a provider.  I am a physician.  I am Doctor Curmudgeon.”

When some stupid form (by definition, all forms are stupid, to me) asks for the provider’s signature, I cross it out and write “physician” or “doctor,” depending on my mood.

I do not recall when first I heard the dreaded term “provider” – but I do not like it.

I survived medical school

I survived my training

I am now joyously practicing as a doctor

Bio:

Doctor Curmudgeon is Diane Batshaw Eisman MD, FAAFP, a Family Physician, writer, voiceover artist, and medical educator. It was in the Neolithic Era that the doctor became renowned for expertise in Trephination. After so much time in practice, Doctor Curmudgeon is now cranky and has rightfully earned the honorific of “Curmudgeon.”

Doctor Curmudgeon has no idea of what will appear in this space. It depends on the Good Doctor’s mood and whatever shamans and doctors are channeled at the moment.

As a curmudgeon, I may stray from what I observe happening in medicine and slink into other areas. But that is the prerogative of a Curmudgeon

The post Doctor Curmudgeon: Doctors Yes! Providers No! appeared first on Sermo.

While our physicians do mostly discuss clinical and practice work inside Sermo, they do have a sense of humor.  If you’re an M.D. or D.O. you can find out more about our virtual doctor’s lounge here.

Copyright Sermo, 2014

Copyright Sermo, 2014

Copyright Sermo, 2014

Copyright Sermo, 2014

Copyright Sermo, 2014

The post Cartoon Caption Contest: Because Laughter is Infectious appeared first on Sermo.

credit: Flickr

There will be ghoulish fun tonight, but there will also be a few ghoulish trips to the Emergency Room.  In fact, ER trips spike on Halloween night.  We’ve rounded up the likely culprits.

Choking on Candy

Nearly 30% of all choking incidents in children comes from candy.  15% is from hard candy and 12.8% is from all other candies combined.  Since kids don’t usually have that much access to candy, encourage them to gobble more slowly.

Pedestrian Accidents

Halloween is considered the “deadliest day for child pedestrian accidents,” according to a State Farm study that looked at data from 1990 through 2010.  On an average day the rate for fatalities is 2.6 for children between the ages of 0 and 18, but on Halloween it more than doubles to 5.5.  In addition, the deadliest hour is right when dusk settles between 6 pm and 7 pm.   Make sure your child is carrying a light, or a glow stick so that drivers can see them easily and let them know how important it is to stay on the sidewalk.

Eye injuries

There is an uptick in eye injuries every Halloween, especially with vanity contact lenses used for Halloween costumes.  These lenses aren’t fitted properly, are usually thicker than prescription lenses, and have paint on them.  The result could be a corneal abrasion.

In addition, costumes often have objects protruding from them, or the little ones might be carrying wands and sticks which can cause injuries.

Rashes

Often the heavy novelty makeup found in paint-face kits aren’t high in quality and can cause rashes.   There have even been recalls of Halloween makeup kits (in 2001 and 2009) for causing problems.

Also look out for latex masks and even the fabric in cheaply made Halloween costumes which could cause reactions for the wearer.

Yes, Halloween is a lot of fun, but there are definitely a few pitfalls to avoid.  As a physician have you had to treat a patient for Halloween related problems?  Please share your stories below, or join the conversation inside Sermo.

The post Halloween Emergency Room Trips appeared first on Sermo.

You can get it on the action, too – vote for your favorite each week, and we’ll see which case tops your list in the end.

Chinese Lung Fluke Biopsy Poker

“During a bronchoscopy on a Chinese male complaining of hemoptysis, I took an endobronchial biopsy of an area that appeared abnormal. Within a few seconds of the biopsy, while watching for any bleeding, a small worm poked its head out from where I had biopsied. Scared the you know what out of me. Turns out the man was infected with the Chinese Lung Fluke, Paragonimus.”

From sthaber

Broken String Lizard

“The most embarrassing moment in my entire career. I was a medical student rotating in a general surgeon office. The patient was a 28 year old male with no significant medical history. As I approach the patient, I asked the question, “what brings you into the surgical clinic today?” The patient replies “the string broke.” At this point, I didn’t understand what he meant by that statement, so I asked the patient can you be more precise. He stated again, the string broke. So at this point as nervous as I was, I ask can you show me where the string broke. To my amazement, he pulls down his pant and bends over, splitting his butt cheeks with his bare hands. At this point I was even more confused as all I could see was a loop piercing near his anus and a broken string hanging from it. Afraid as I was to ask this next question, I had to know what was attached to this string. The patient replied that he had attached a baby iguana to the piercing and inserted his pet in his anus for sexual pleasure, but the string broke and he cant get his lizard out. He had to go through surgery to remove the lizard as it suffocated in his rectum.”

From majanu

Poison Ivy Mouth

“I was working in urgent care in Connecticut, when I saw a young, very attractive but embarrased female with complaints of severe vaginal itching. On exam , her labia and vulva were extremely swollen, beet red, and with multiple pustules and linear streaks. Turned out she had gone camping with her boyfriend, and went tinkle in the bushes by the tent. She forget to bring toilet paper, so she grabbed some leaves next to her to wipe herself. What she grabbed was poison ivy. After we had treated her, the next day her boyfriend comes in to the urgent care with obvious poison ivy reaction all over his face, especially around his swollen lips and mouth. Turns out he had given her oral sex shortly after she had wiped herself with poison ivy…”

From 111niceguy

[polldaddy poll=7195638]

google-site-verification: google17dbd8b43b074398.html

The post Craziest Cases #2 appeared first on Sermo.

You can get it on the action, too – vote for your favorite each week, and we’ll see which case tops your list in the end.

To kick things off, we learn that car crashes are confusing, a tape worm could save your life, and why some DIY projects really should be left in expert hands…

Turkey Eyeball

Lady was brought in from a MVC on a mountain interstate with an eye injury. She had collided with a wild turkey gliding across the valley and it broke her windshield and came into the car. One eye was bloody and she could not see out of it. She looked down in her lap and saw an eyeball there. Her face was cleaned and superficial glass fragments were removed. Her eyes were normal. The eyeball was the turkey’s.

From abentropy

Gunshot Wound Tapeworm

A middle aged male is robbed one night as he is closing his restaurant. During the robbery, the patient is shot in the abdomen with a low-caliber weapon.  He is taken to the operating room for laparotomy where the doctors find multiple small-bowel enterotomies.  As the attending surgeons are closing one of the last remaining enterotomies, something starts to “move” through the opening in the small bowel. The surgeons remove a several foot long tape worm from the opening.

From elwood

DIY Circumcision

A young male arrives at a hospital with a towel covering his genitals. He refuses to tell the triage nurse why he is there. After a bit of digging, the patient admits that he found an internet site that provided “painless instructions” for a home circumcision. The patient wanted a circumcision but didn’t think his insurance would cover the procedure. The patient went on to have a proper, fully covered by insurance, circumcision.

From Badabing

The post Craziest Cases: Physicians Share their Wildest Medical Stories, You Vote on the Winner! appeared first on Sermo.