Many people experience cold feet or “pre wedding jitters” before their big day. This anxiety may stem from the stress of planning a wedding, the idea of giving up freedom that single life allows, or bigger concerns may be caused by the relationship itself. Overcoming pre-wedding apprehension can be difficult, and recognizing the anxiety as a sign of something bigger can be even harder. A psychiatrist in the US posted a patient case about a patient with pre-wedding jitters but started feeling stuck and turned to their peers for help:
I recently started seeing a patient for individual therapy who I am feeling a bit “stuck” with and hoping to hear some collective wisdom here to help me help her better. This is a young lady in her mid 20’s, with some hx of anxiety that has never been treated, who came to me with an initial presentation of acute stress and anxiety related to an upcoming wedding. Michelle (not her real name) comes from a culture of religion, traditions, often arranged marriages, and a very comfortable lifestyle (for her family at least). She has a bachelor’s degree in a liberal arts field, has never worked a day in her life, lives with her parents, and has been quite sheltered from any major life stressors, living “the good life.”… She once dated someone for a year, but the relationship ended and has now again been dating someone again for a year, is now engaged and was at a state of scheduling her wedding, when… she realized that she is not so sure.
Very briefly, the pros for breaking it off is that 1) she has realized that his family is “bad news” on many levels and she was likely in denial of that was they were dating; for her culture not “marrying” the family is close to impossible. 2) she realized that he is not financially secure 3) he has done some things that don’t make him seem like such a nice gentleman (e.g. some possible financial dishonesties and a minor legal infraction)…On the other hand 1) she seems to be truly in love with him 2) she misses him when they try to take a break for a few days 4) they seem to have good “chemistry” on many levels. 3) there are lots of pressures for her to get married, both from him and from the family and “community.”