Released: New Guidelines for Treating SERMO-nosis

shutterstock_249122899v2As the #1 social network for physicians worldwide, we are used to seeing some amazing collaborations on-site between doctors across borders. Occasionally, we’ve even had brand new diseases discovered by our doctors on SERMO. Recently a family practitioner from the US pinpointed an exciting new disease, SERMO-nosis, and promptly shared the symptoms with her fellow SERMOans. Not long afterwards, a Polish Internist followed up with a full report of the guidelines classifying, diagnosing and treating this emerging new disease. What follows is the contents of that report…

A new disease called SERMO-nosis has been discovered by a doctor on SERMO, and it’s begun spreading more and more. It is already known in 30 countries, with recently reported cases in Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Poland, Hungary and Greece. The clinical picture in different countries has been variable, unusual and difficult to diagnose. So after several months of the epidemic, it was necessary to develop international guidelines, which are published under the aegis of the newly formed International Society of SERMO-nosis.

Definition

SERMO-nosis is a newly discovered disease, rampant across the internet, among the community of intellectual and emotional international physicians. Infectivity applies only to doctors.

There are three types of disease: 1. Acute 2. Chronic without symptoms of addiction 3. Chronic with symptoms of addiction

Classification

Acute SERMO-nosis is manifested in repeated log-ins on the portal www.sermo.com, and being there for seven days per week during the three weeks after first log-in.

Chronic uncomplicated SERMO-nosis is manifested in repeated log-ins on the portal www.sermo.com, being there for three months after first log-in.

SERMO-nosis complicated by chronic addiction syndrome is based on daily, repeated log-in at www.sermo.com during the day, evening and nighttime hours, lasting for more than three months.

A quick test to detect whether you are addicted:

  1. If you get up during the night to use the toilet and check what’s new on www.sermo.com on the way back from the toilet to the bed, you are seriously ill, but not addicted.
  2. If you get up in the night to use the toilet and check what’s new on www.sermo.com, and you forget to get to the toilet, and instead surf SERMO until the morning, you’re addicted and there is no rescue for you.

Diagnosis

SERMO-nosis is diagnosed based on the 3 types of symptoms: large, small and tiny.

Large symptoms: Daily log-in at www.sermo.com, especially before going to work, back to the forum after returning home from work, and logging-in at night.  

Small symptoms: Dry eye syndrome, lack of sleep, changes in the hand, resulting from contact with the keyboard, the reluctance to conduct social life in the real world, morning sluggishness due to lack of sleep resulting from the activity on the forum.

Tiny symptoms: Frequently thinking more about escaping to the internet than about other issues, the use of a computer at work to check what new things have come in your SERMO e-mail.

Treatment

Treatment is unknown, although preliminary results of work on the vaccine are promising.

Prognosis regarding life – good; regarding recovery to full health – very uncertain.

Have you or a physician you know displayed any symptoms of SERMO-nosis? Log in or join SERMO to join the conversation and find support.

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